Traffic

Traffic
When I was younger I had a pretty good ability to crash, smash and damage my bicycle. I did this so well that the guy who owned the Bike Shop was going to open a Panel beating Business when I got my licence. Getting your licence in Australia when I did was great. You had to be at least eighteen years old to be eligible. Eighteen is also the legal drinking age. So if you are like me and you get your license on you eighteenth birthday you can legally drive yourself to the pub and drink yourself legally legless. Now that’s becoming a responsible adult for you !
Early one morning I was driving down the coast with my surfboard on the roof looking for waves. In and out of beach carparks I drove getting more and more disappointed and coming to the conclusion that all the surf beaches had turned to lakes over night. Not even a ripple.
The rain started to fall lightly. Light but consistent. It was that annoying rain that if you have you wipers on intermittent it is not enough to clear the windscreen. Of you have the wipers on the first setting it is too much and you get the wonderful rubber on glass screech. When will some one invent a wiper that is syncronised to rain drops? Anyway the rain caused more problems. It hadn’t rained for three or four weeks so plenty of oil and road gunk was floating on the surface.
So after turning back from yet another beach resembling a pond and with the rain falling I was about to call it quits and go home. I was taking it nice and easy putting along at about 30 kilometers per hour listening to Motorhead which is a feat in itself to listen to Lemmy scream out “The Ace OF Spades” and drive slowly. As I started around a bend I felt the car lose traction. I turned the wheel but the car kept moving straight ahead. It was like the front wheels were imitating the wind screen wipers, moving but doing nothing. I knocked the gear shift into neutral and stabbed the brakes. Still not good. Across the road was a paddock. I thought “If I just maintain what little control I have and slow down I can drift onto the grass.” Then out of nowhere another car comes the opposite way around the bend. My forward momentum came to a sudden crashing halt. My windscreen popped out and the bonnet of the car buckled. The piercing sound of shattering glass accompanied it. “What the fuck…shit fuck shit fuck” was the extent of my vocabulary. “Where the fucking hell did he come from??” He was damn close to being over the center line!!
I pushed my door opened and then had a clearer view of what happened. I had ploughed into the side of this brand new car. The driver wasn’t moving too much. I ran over and managed to force his door open. The driver was a guy in his 60’s. His first comment was “What the bloody hell do you think your doing”
“Sorry mate you came outta nowhere” I said. “Are you ok?? Are you hurt” I questioned.
He started to lean back. I wasn’t sure if he was putting his seat belt on or taking it off. His face was bright red and he started clutching his chest and panting.
“What’s wrong? Did you hit the steering wheel? Where are you hurt?”
“No” he groaned”
“Stay still I will call an ambulance said
He kept clutching his chest. “Where are you hurt? did you hit something?”
“No I had a heart by pass six weeks ago!” he groaned.
Well shit just my luck I am gonna kill this guy i thought. I got that feeling that shoots through you. The one where time stands still and you think you are going to pass out. I pulled his shirt open and lay him back in his seat. One thing going for me was the accident was just across the road from the Panel Beaters and before I knew it there was a guy from a Panel Beating shop running across the road. ”Hey you need a Tow Truck?” Well 10 points to the fucking Optometrist!! “Yeah ya think? And just maybe an ambulance!!” I yelled. He ran back and called the ambulance and then I heard the roar of the Tow Truck. This big yellow beast of a Ford F250 V8 Tow Truck came semi sideways out of the Panel Beaters. I waited for a second to see if some one was playing the theme music from Dukes of Hazard.
The old fella was starting to calm down a little but I still wasn’t too comfortable with the situation. “Is he ok?” Ask the Tow Truck Driver. “Well he had a heart bypass not long ago” I stated. “Shit” he says. “Yeah I was sot of thinking a bit more than shit” I yelled.
The ambulance was there in no time. They got the old guy on a stretcher and were loading him in the back when the Police rolled up. I was hoping the old guy lives. Cars I don’t give a shit about but I didn’t want to be responsible for killing some one. Even if it was an accident.
The cars where moved off the road and I went and sat with my wreck. I was straight up with the Cops and told them what happened including that I thought he was over the center line coming around the bend. They measured skid marks and tested the road surface. The road surface test was an example of technical ingenuity. One of them rubbed his shoes along the road and stated “Yeah it is greasy and slippery”. I mean how the fuck does that stand up as evidence?Then the ‘scientific’ Cop says to me. “Have you been drinking?”
“It’s 8.30am what do you take me for”
“Standard question” he says
“Do you ever get anyone say yes at this time of the morning” I ask?
“This gives us the answer and he instructs me to blow into the breathalyzer.
My Blood / Alcohol was 0.
I gathered these Cops had a nice warm station to get back to and wanted to get out of the rain like everyone else
“It looks like a 50/50 accident to us so looks like you can just pay for your own cars” they tell me.
“What about the old guy?” I enquired.
“Yeah he can pay for his”
Fuck these guys won’t make Detective I thought but then again they are just stupid enough to do it.
“Well that’s if he makes it” I said.
“Oh here is our card, call us later and we will let you know how he is. We are heading to the hospital now”
They depart.
My car is towed to the Panel Beaters. My Brother makes a 140km round trip to pick me up as I won’t get my car for another week.
I ring the Cops later expecting to be charged with Culpable Driving or Manslaughter or fuck I don’t know what, maybe dealing with stupidity. They say “Nar you are ok Son. He is just a bit shaken up but he is fine”
I hung up and puffed a huge sigh of relief. Now I don’t have to become a fugitive and live in a cave eating nothing but baked beans.
Eight Weeks later I receive a letter from the old guys Solicitor. Enclosed is a Letter of Intent to Sue for about $10000. All that shit about a 50/50 accident the Cops had told me was a load of monkey’s arses. I called them again and they said ‘oh no it was your fault”. And that’s the information the old guy got and the accident reports stated. I would have liked to have seen an accident report!. Well I finally got my insurance company to pay up after nearly telling them and all they stand for to go fuck themselves. They are all friendly when taking your money, but shit. Try finding a nice person who hands the money out.
It is weird how things pan out. A simple surfing trip after a week in a shitty job nearly lands me in jail and debt. This is called Rest and Recreation?